Mommy Said So

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

What ice cream flavor describes your personality the best?

umm i dont know lol, Black raspberry or mint chocolate chip are my favs though :D

are you done with having kids now?? i think you have 2 this makes 3?? are you done or do u want more?

haha, I know that I am happy with my 3, I'm not sure about nick. I know he really wants to try for a boy. For now, for a while we are done... maybe when I'm closer to 30 we might, keyword might, try again. We will see. 3 girls are a lot to handle, already!

Ask me something fun :)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

formspring.me

Ask me something fun :) http://formspring.me/jadeyk

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Guilt Free Motherhood....

OK this is another one i "borrowed" from another blogger... i really should start writing my own stuff, but i though this was great and had to share.. enjoy<3

Warning: This post contains a curse word. It’s asshole. Apologies. Also I may or may not say shit, I haven’t decided yet. Oh and damn. Well there’s a lot of curse words in here. It’s that kind of post.

That’s right, I said it, the “g” word. Guilt.

You know you’ve felt it.

You felt it that time you bribed your kids with McDonalds because you just wanted them to let you get the shopping done and you would have given your left dang arm to get out of there alive. So you did it. Health be damned. And then, damn, I fed my kids McDonalds. Crap. They are DEFINITELY going to get heart disease. And it’s my fault.

You felt it when you gave your 3 year old a sucker for pooping on the potty. But dangit if you didn’t want to change one more poopy diaper. You would have found that kid a pony if he’d have crapped on the toilet. And then, damn, I’m probably destroying his teeth. Great.

You felt it when you yelled at your kids for leaving their shoes in front of the door for the fortieth time today. But if you tripped on those shoes one more stinkin time someone was going to get something so much worse than a yelling. They weren’t even gonna need shoes anymore. And then, damn, I’m not supposed to yell. Perfect.

You felt it when you said your 13 year old was acting like an asshole. Even though he was totally acting like an asshole. You shouldn’t have told him he was. Even if he TOTALLY WAS. Damn, that was harsh. Awesome. (This actually happened here like two days ago)

You felt it when you caught your 6 month old watching {WHATDIDYOUSAY} TV. And you let her. Because her watching Blues Clues meant you had five minutes to fold a quarter of a load of laundry. And HELLO you have four kids and you do 87 loads of laundry a week (ok it’s only like 18 but STILL). But now, damn, she’s probably brain damaged. Her IQ just dropped 10 points because you weren’t interacting with her. She’s NEVER going to get into Berkeley now and it’s your fault.

You felt it when you {ohmigawdgasp} got an epidural after you SWORE you’d do it all naturally. But holymotherofgod contractions HURT. Why didn’t someone tell you how bad they HURT? THEYHURTSOBAD. You weren’t prepared. But then, damn, what is everyone going to think? I’m a wuss. Outstanding.

Or when you got a c-section because you’d been in labor for 172 hours and The Doctor came in like the knight in shining armour that he was and said “I think we should….” and he didn’t even have to finish his sentence because if he had said “…jump off the Golden Gate Bridge”, you totally would have opted right out of labor to do it. You were that tired. But then, damn, you didn’t do it ‘natural’. Fantastic.

You felt it when you were in the shower and the baby started crying but dangit if it wasn’t the first time in a hundred thousand days you were actually going to shower AND shave your legs and you had to because your husband was starting to mistake your leg for his in the middle of the night. SO you finished. You HAD to. But then, damn, are your legs more important than your child. You’re a selfish jerk. Shit.

You’ve felt it.

I’ve felt it.

And I want us to stop it.

I want us to. Stop. Feeling. Guilty.

OK You should feel guilty about some things. You should. You should feel guilty if you eat out every single day. You should definitely feel guilty if you haven’t hugged your kids in any amount of time you can remember. You should feel guilty if your kids think your pajamas are regular clothes and that you live on the couch (and you should get some help). You should feel guilty if your kids think ketchup is a vegetable (actually, that one is debatable). But you should definitely pick your guilt battles with yourself…

You shouldn’t feel guilty for eating a piece of cake.

Unless you eat cake for every meal. Then yeah, we’ve got a problem.

But when it comes to parenting… stop beating yourself up.

Example: I would NEVEREVEREVEREVER in a millionzilliontrilliongazillion years let my baby cry it out. (Also known as CIO in the Attachment Parenting community.) Never. Ever.

Ever.

Wellllll. Never ever until my 14 month old child hadn’t slept in 14 months. And therefore I’d hadn’t slept in 14 months. And 14 months is a loooog time. And I was working full time. And nursing all night. And I. Was. Exhausted. And when I say exhausted I mean tired to the point of hallucination. Tired to the point that I would literally rather have DIED than have gone one more night without sleep. Then I might, just maybe stand by her bed and let that child cry. To sleep. Because I was out of options. And I truly and honestly didn’t know what else to do.

And I’d probably feel guilty about it. Perhaps I’d spend the rest of the child’s life feeling guilty about it.

Or I could just say to myself, “Self, you did the best you could. Forgive yourself and move on.”

Example #2: Perhaps you planned to breastfeed. Because you know that breastfeeding is hands down the best and most healthy choice for your beautiful baby. So let’s say the baby is born and he doesn’t latch right and your nipples are bleeding and you’re afraid he’s starving because all he’s drinking is the blood from your bloody nipple and you have no help, no where to turn, no one to ask. And you’re pretty sure your nipple is going to actually fall right off. And so, in desperation, you give your baby a bottle. Of FORMULA. {GASP} And that means your milk doesn’t come in. And the cycle continues. And the next thing you know it, you’re bottlefeeding.

Crap.

And you feel guilty. Because you should have tried harder. You should have pumped longer. Shoulda Shoulda Shoulda.

Or you can say to yourself, “Self, you did the best you could. Forgive yourself and move on.”

Here’s another example that I recently dealt with: I practice attachment parenting. I practiced attachment parenting before attachment parenting had a name and a book. It was what I thought was logical. Feed your baby with your boobs. Whenever they are hungry. Keep them close to you. Wear them. Love them. Guide them gently. Mother lovingly. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Logical. Right?

But then I found out it was a ‘thing’. Oh Attachment Parenting you mean. Oh yes. yes. MMMhmmmm. That’s me. I’m anAttached Parent. I do ALL of those things. I’m so super ATTACHED. I am The Attached Parent.

Wait.

{begin PG-13 section}

I want to have sex with my husband. Soooo I’m going to put the baby in her bed to start the night. Because I want to have sex. In my bed. Uh oh. Hang on. Let me go to the API website and check. Crap. That’s not bedsharing. WAIT. Does that mean I’m not an ATTACHED PARENT? Uh oh. I’m not sure. Let me think about this. Maybe we better put the baby in our bed and I’ll nurse her to sleep and then I’ll slip out quietly and put on lingerie and then we better just have sex on the sofa. Yeah. Ok. That’s fine. Cause the baby is in our bed. So I’m still an Attached Parent.

Phew. That was a close call. I almost lost my title.

WHAT?

My baby is sleeping safely, snugly and happily in her CRIB and then she wakes up and comes to my bed.

Oh and guess what… I have sex. With my husband. Like at night and everything. It’s cra-zay.

{end PG13 section}

I’m not saying I advocate CIO or bottle feeding (because I don’t). And I do bedshare. Because I’m a mammal and I think babies are meant to be close to their parents. When they need you. I think you should comfort your baby. If you can. And you should breastfeed. Unless something happens and you absolutely cannot. What I am saying is, if you did your BEST, the BEST you could, you should move on.

Move on.

We moms LOVE guilt. It’s our FAVorite. We feel like we have to EARN the right to be proud of ourselves. Like if I can’t blog and be an outstanding patient parent and be a super awesome sexy wife and sew a dress and be at two band performances and teach the baby sign language and do elimination communication and co-sleep and help with algebra and have an etsy store and exercise 3 days and cook healthy homemade food and bake a cake ALL. THIS. WEEK. Then I’ve failed. As a mother. As a human. And I’ve failed all the other mothers before me. And all of mankind. For eternity.

When did we decide success meant we had to be all do all have all know all?

Now. I think some guilt can be GOOD. When applied properly it is a good motivator and makes us strive to be better. I mean if you think it’s ok to feed your kid cake for breakfast every day then yeah, feel a little guilty and maybe pop some wheat bread in the toaster. But the problem with this overwhelming guilt is that is PARALYZES us. It may not seem like it but it does. It makes us feel like we are failing and thus it makes us afraid to further fail. And it stops us in our tracks.

So have some guilt. Just a little bit. But have cake too.

life’s too short ya’ll

Monday, March 28, 2011

Easy Freezer Meals

Friday, March 25, 2011

101 things i want my children to know....

I cannot take the credit for this, i found this earlier today and had to share, i thought it was wonderful <3

Don’t forget to say thank you. To everyone, including the bus driver and girl at the drive through window.
Smile. It makes your heart full.
Tell people you love them.
Just relax. There’s rarely any need to stress.
When you yell, you lose.
Choose your words wisely.
You don’t have to.
If there’s an opportunity to travel, take it.
Speak up. Don’t be scared to share your opinion, even if you know others will disagree.
Listen. You don’t always have to be the one talking.
Sometimes trying something a new way is a good thing.
Girls like guys that cook.
Don’t rush into marriage.
Get life experience before you have children. Set yourself up in every way to be ready. Once you have them, everything changes. For the better but you need to know it will be harder than you could ever imagine. I promise you it’s worth it though.
There is no such thing as girls/boys colours.
Nor are there girls/boys toys.
Don’t pick on other children. Everyone is different and that’s ok.
Celebrate everything. Life is worth celebrating.
Help your Mother carry things. You boys will probably be stronger than me by the time you’re 11.
Don’t let anyone hurt your sister.
Love each other because at the end of the day, as adults, your siblings will be your best friends.
Live your dreams. If you want it, go get it. Don’t wait, no one’s going to give it to you.
Take care of your body. You will feel a sense of pride.
Visit your Mum. She will miss you when you leave.
Competition is healthy. Obsessing over failure is not.
Hold the door open for people.
Give up your seat on the bus for the elderly and pregnant women.
Praise a job well done.
You don’t have to be the best at everything, so long as you always do your best. In my experience, that usually leads to great results.
Go swimming. There’s something freeing about it.
Laugh. Nobody likes a tight@$$.
Be honest. A life lived with integrity will make you happier than lying or cheating to get ahead.
Take calculated risks. Just because it hasn’t been done, doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
Learn. Always. From school, through books, through life and from people who have been there.
Teach. This is the best way to learn.
Boys – The pretty girls will like you. Ask them out. Popular doesn’t = pretty.
Girl- Find a man like your Father. If he doesn’t treat you the way you’ve seen your father treat me, he’s not the one.
Boys – Be like your father. He’s a great man.
Let your personality shine. You’re all so different, it makes me proud.
When it’s time, have children. As many as you want! Don’t worry about the comments people will give you.
Make memories.
Don’t feel the need to spend money constantly. Use it wisely.
Follow your gut, trust your instinct.
Always be grateful. There’s never going to be a time where you don’t have something to be thankful for.
I love you. So very much.
Respect women. Don’t let me catch you treating any female badly, you will be sorry.
Let the boys down easy my darling daughter. We’ve already had this discussion, (I can’t believe I’ve had to!) but remember what I told you. No need to be mean about it.
You are meant to be here. There is purpose to your life.
If you want a good friend, be a good friend. These people will stick with you through anything.
Everything in life is made up from choices. Choose wisely. If you mess up, as you will, choose better next time.
Intelligence is sexy.
Respect your surroundings. Reduce, reuse, recycle.
Don’t try to buy people. You will not be cooler because you can afford something. It’s all an illusion.
Defend yourself. I raise you to be tolerant. Don’t feel you need to tolerate people that treat you badly.
Look people in the eye.
Sing and sing loudly. It’s ok if you’re off key, just do it. Enjoy yourself.
Live within your means. In this day and age it’s a hard lesson to learn when you don’t.
Wear your seatbelt!
Real women don’t look like the one’s in magazines. That’s called lighting and photoshop.
Don’t whine. Even I won’t love a whiney mcwhinepants.
Set goals. Reach them. Set new ones.
Push yourself!
Do not live on handouts. You have skills, use them. Earning something will give you a greater sense of accomplishment and respect than anything you are ever handed.
Sometimes Mum knows what she’s talking about. Remind yourself and your Father.
I’ll say it again, I love you. No matter what.
Sex isn’t taboo.
Don’t change yourself for anyone. If you do, I will hunt them down and punch them. You are great as you are.
Never use your cellphone while driving. It’s just not worth the risk.
Don’t ever let anyone lay a hand on you. Man or woman. That is not how you communicate in a relationship.
Give. Of yourself and your belongings you no longer need or have extra of.
If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, they’re not your friend.
NEVER get in the car with someone who has been drinking. NEVER.
Talk to your parents. We’re pretty good listeners.
Own your mistakes. Don’t pretend you’re perfect.
Find a way to make it happen.
Don’t settle for stereotypes. Exceed everyones expectations, including your own. All you have to do is try.
Keep your eyes open. Observe the good and the bad.
Always vote. There is too much history to take this privilege for granted. What you have to say can make a difference.
It’s ok to say No. Mean it when you say it.
Have some humility. There is a fine line between confidence and just being a prick.
Be healthy. I’ve tried to lay the foundation so you don’t go through the issues I’ve had to. Real food tastes so much better anyway.
You don’t have to expose body parts to attract people. A modestly dressed person is so much hotter than an overexposed body.
Be patient. As they say “Good things take time”.
You have more than enough. Everything you have is more than some and less than others. Don’t make a big deal about it.
Think logically, be practical. Your Dad can teach you this. I’m the creative one, take some tips from me on how to be logical and fun.
Don’t panic! Come to me for this lesson. Your Dad’s brain stops working if something doesn’t go according to plan. I, on the other hand couldn’t care less. It just makes life more interesting. If there is a fire, call 111 because your Dad won’t.
Lead by example.
Clean up after yourself. When you leave home people will say “I’m not your Mother”. Well, I am your Mother and I’m not cleaning up your unnecessary mess. Do it yourself, you have arms and storage boxes.
Grocery shop with a list and a budget. Plan your meals in advance. You’ll save tonnes of money and never go hungry.
Take pride in your appearance. It’s not shallow, it’s caring.
We’ll teach you how to budget and understand money and invstments to the best of our capabilities. You need to be armed for the world.
Boys can do laundry too. You will learn before you leave my home and some girl will love you (and me) for this.
“When you know better, you do better.”
Don’t steal from people. It shows cowardly tendencies.
Being married doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with friends anymore.
Don’t let others tell you what to do. You decide your future. Think for yourself!
Notorious B.I.G was the greatest rapper ever.
Nothing I do in my life will ever compare to being your Mother.
Have a hobby. It will keep you sane.
Nothing bad has happened tomorrow. It’s a new day, fresh for the taking.
Understand priorities. Sometimes money, family, health, the needy,work, school… whatever, can get overwhelming. Remember to put yourself first sometimes. It’s easy to forget.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Lessons from Michelle ( 19 kids and Counting)

As a mother of 19, Michelle has a wealth of lessons for her family. Get her inspiring words of wisdom and learn how to live life the Duggar way.............